Mack Cratty - Humans of Centaurus

Humans of Centaurus

Do you think about dying? Are you scared?

I do think about dying. Death has always been a big thing to me. I have had depression, anxiety, anger issues, and ADHD since I can remember having emotions. This makes for a horrible melting pot of feeling bad most of the time. I have days, weeks, and sometimes months that are worse than others, but I’ve learned how to deal with it for the most part. I used to think about death a lot. I’ve almost died by my own hand before. I never went through with it though, and I’m so so happy I didn’t. Though my life is objectively really good at the moment, I’m actually having a really hard time right now. The upside is that I have amazing people in my life who are helping me get through it. Despite everything wrong with my brain, I feel very lucky. I don’t fear death. I don’t want to die, there’s so much I still want to do and experience, I’m not scared though. I think the close relationship I’ve with death my whole life has really taken away the fear for me. I used to think extensively about dying. The pros and cons and how it would affect those around me. I accepted it and came very close to it. Because I had these experiences, terrible as they were, I think it showed me how precious my life is and how much I want to do. I think going through this has made me a happier and more grateful person in the end.